28 Dec 2007

28 December 2007

Hi Everyone!

Last fRIDAY fUNNIES of the year. Stay great in 2008!

:-)> Dr Bernie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From - ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Stan Kegel - Riddles
• Tom Sokolowski – Conversation
• Mark Colman – The Pope and Hillary
• Fred Silver – Calls to Support
• Irving4 – Holy Sh*t
• Maureen Zack – Tickle Me Elmo
• Tom Sokolowski - Service
• Tom Sokolowski – Churches and Squirrels
• Neil Stenlake – Pet Shop
• Barbara Rosenberg – Weather Warning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Stan Kegel - Riddles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do dentists get fat?
Because just about everything they do is filling

What happened when the cross-eyed dog chased a squirrel in the woods?
It barked up the wrong tree.
.
What made the dogcatcher wealthy?
He was paid by the pound.

What does a young boy in summer have in common with a tired dog?
They both have short pants.

Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?
So he could see how long he slept.

What did the ocean liner became when the professors took a cruise?
A scholar ship (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski - Conversation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in
sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry juice along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.

I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"

And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the
love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful,
beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."

I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."

And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.
Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".

I was starting to feel better, but I still had a few burning
questions, so I asked. "Jesus," I said, " What is the meaning
of life? Why am I here?"

He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in
your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with
you some more, Senor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Mark Colman – The Pope and Hillary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
'Her Majesty' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."
The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Fred Silver – Calls to Support
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samsung Electronics
Caller:????????? 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator:???? 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller:????????? 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator:????? 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
---------------------------------
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
---------------------------------
Tech Support:????????? 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer:???????????????? 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller:? 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Irving4 – Holy Sh*t
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of unbelievable photos.














~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Maureen Zack – Tickle Me Elmo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski - Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."

"It's the act of doing things for other people."

Then I heard these terms which reference the word SERVICE:

Internal Revenue SERVICE
Postal SERVICE
Telephone SERVICE
Civil SERVICE
City & County Public SERVICE
Customer SERVICE
SERVICE Stations

Then I became confused about the word "SERVICE." This is not what I thought "SERVICE" meant.

So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "SERVICE" a few of his cows.
BAM! It all came into perspective.

Now I understand what all those "SERVICE" agencies are doing to us.

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – Churches and Squirrels
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were five country churches in a small TEXAS town:
The Presbyterian Church,

The Baptist Church,

The Methodist Church,

The Catholic Church, and

The Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow, and there were twice as many there the next week.


The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But, the Catholic church came up with the best and most effective solution: They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of their church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision, and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake – Pet Shop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper,"I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Barbara Rosenberg – Weather Warning
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHEN YOU SEE THIS ON YOUR WAY OUT THE DOOR IN THE MORNING .....



go back in and have another cup of coffee. It is probably not going to be a good day!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hope everybody has a great weekend and a great 2008!!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES.

That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.

21 Dec 2007

21 December 2007

Hi Everyone!

Happy Holidays! Stay terrific!

:-)> Dr Bernie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From - ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Barbara Rosenberg - Another Use For Duct Tape
• Tom Sokolowski – Seasons Greetings
• Dick Sziede – Golf
• Neil Stenlake – Urologist
• Barbara Rosenberg – Blonde Man Joke
• Neil Stenlake - Are We Getting Old?
• Stan Kegel – Jest for Kids
• Maureen Zack – A Boca Christmas
• Mark Coleman – A Bad Day
• Paul Keister – In the Hospital …


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Barbara Rosenberg - Another Use For Duct Tape
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have to tell you that I have never seen a better use for duct tape in my life. Makes you want to require everyone carry a roll for emergencies.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – Seasons Greetings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To All My Democrat and Liberal Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.

To All MY Republican friends:
MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Dick Sziede - Golf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clubs = $5,000
Bag = $1,500
Sticking your T&A out on TV with MasterCard as your sponsor = PRICELESS!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake - Urologist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went to his appointment with the urologist. In the examining room he told the doctor, "Don't laugh!"

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In more than twenty years I've never Laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'willie' the doctor had ever seen.

It wasn't any bigger than a triple A battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing hysterically. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

" I'm so sorry," he said. "I really am. I don't know what came over me.
On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.
Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," the man replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Barbara Rosenberg – Blonde Man Joke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get Burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw Burritos, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him ag ain!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much.'

(Oh, this is GOOD!!)

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
'Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake - Are We Getting Old?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Stan Kegel – Jest for Kids
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Useful Math Conversions

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Maureen Zack – A Boca Christmas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Twas the night before Christmas
and down here in Boca,
I was sitting at Starbucks,
drinking my mocha.

I know we're all Jewish,
but was wondering still,
if Santa would come here
and give us a thrill.

On my way home,
no Christmas lights did I see,
on the houses, the windows,
not even the trees.

What a strange feeling.
Not a decoration in sight.
Was it really December
or a warm summer's night?

I drove past the deli's,
there were lines out the door.
People were waiting
for kishka and more.

The restaruants were busy,
Christmas dinners not planned.
Never, not here
we're in Boca Land.

At home all was quiet.
I left out Kosher wine,
In case Santa came to Boca
for the very first time.

Snoozing came easy
to me Christmas Eve.
I wasn't waiting for presents
to be left under a tree.

I could hope all I want.
I could fuss and then see,
if Santa would make time
for little old me.

Then all of a sudden
he pulled up in his Jag,
with a sack full of presents
each sporting a tag.

Oh Bloomies, oh Saks
a computer and more.
He knows where to shop,
he frequents my stores!

He looked for the lox,
the bagels and jelly.
He came to Boca first
to fill up his belly!

"I have a long night ahead,
I want you to know.
From Boca I leave
for New York and the snow."

He stayed for a while,
he chatted and ate.
Then he left in a flash
before it got late.

What a great night
I thought with a sigh.
That jolly old Santa
is a really nice guy.

As I cleared off the table
I heard with delight
"Shalom to you all,
and OY, what a night!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Mark Coleman – A Bad Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all, who may be having a bad day...





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Paul Keister – In the Hospital …
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man woke up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor came in and said: "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. You probably don't remember, but you were in a pile-up. You're going to be okay; you'll walk again and all of your muscle control seems to be okay, but there is a bit of bad news, so I'm going to break it to you as gently as I can: your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The doctor continued: "We've checked your insurance and you've actually got $9,000 compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the technology now to build you a new penis that will work just as well as your old one, better in fact. However, it doesn't come cheap. It costs one thousand dollars an inch."

Hearing this, the guy perked up a bit.
"So, you see, it's a simple decision" said the doctor. "You need to decide how many inches you want, but it's something you might wish to discuss with your wife. For example, if you had a five-inch penis before, and you now decide to go for a nine inch penis, she might be a bit upset by the hefty expenditure. On the other hand, if you had a nine-incher before, and you decide to only invest in a five-incher now, she might be a bit disappointed with your performance. Therefore, it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision. Come on back tomorrow and let me know what you both decide."

The guy agreed to talk with his wife and left.

The next day he was back in the doctor's office.

"So," said the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have." said the patient.

"And has she helped you to make the decision?"

"Yes, she has" the guy said.

"And what is the decision?" asked the doctor.

"We're putting in a new kitchen" said the guy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hope everybody has a great weekend!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES.

That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.

14 Dec 2007

14 December 2007

Hi Everyone!

A bit under the weather this week … bronchitis, coughs … general yuck .. and now the crud weather is coming! OY! Hope these get you what is likely a needed smile or two!

Stay terrific!

:-)> Dr Bernie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From - ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Stan Kegel – Kid Stuff
• Don – Wedding Gown
• EMDAlan – Holidays Away
• cousin Toby – Smart Ass Answers
• Paul Keister – Contractors
• Neil Stenlake – Call Center
• Barbara Rosenberg – The Divorced Barbie Doll
• Tom Sokolowski – Big People Words
• Tom Puddicombe – Too Far?
• Alan Knight – You Might Like This One …

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Stan Kegel – Kid Stuff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What were the veggies grown in the 60s called?
Hip peas (Alex Ramirez)

What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A doctopus!

Which burns longer the candles on a boy's birthday cake, or those on a girls?
Neither, they both burn shorter.

What do prize fighters do before and after work?
Punch in and punch out. (Mike Bull)

If an egg came floating down the Green River, where did it come from?
A chicken.

Who ate his victims two by two?
Noah's shark!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Don – Wedding Gown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding; he died as we were checking into our hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk?

"That one was a Republican," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from EMDAlan – Holidays Away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida . Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from cousin Toby – Smart Ass Answers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS ..........


SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Alaska Airlines.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.


SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."



SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, Or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Paul Keister - Contractors
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These Contractors are installing the steel pillars in concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a Sports Bar downtown. They are now in the process of cleaning up at the end of the day and eager to go home.



How long do you think it will be before they realize where their vehicle is parked?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake – Call Center
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

I got a Call Centre in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Barbara Rosenberg – The Divorced Barbie Doll
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir?

We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie For $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95". The amazed father asks: "It's what?!

Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's testicles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – Big People Words
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo choo."

She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use "Big People' words."

She then asked little Zach what he had done.

"I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

[I love this]

Zach thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Puddicombe – Too Far?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Automation taken a step too far?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgmQM9cDPHk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Alan Knight – You Might Like This One …
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on turning off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She decides she to break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.

'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me for all of these years? You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

' I'll explain the toy . ................................. You explain the kids.'


+++++++++++++++++++++++++

H A P P Y H O L I D A Y S !!!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES.

That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.

Happy Holidays

!

08 Dec 2007

8 December 2007

Hi Everyone!

Still in San Diego … with absolutely no strength left! I’m absolutely and completely pooped! But had a great time! Sorry these are coming out late – really late, as it’s Saturday and not Friday – but hopefully, you’ll still get a smile or two! And be sure to read the ones at the end ... they're great! Stay terrific!

:-)> Dr Bernie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Dr’s Bernie & Michael – I Got You Babe
• Bob Dvorak via Stan Kegel – Talking Towel
• The Imberbabe’s cousin Michele – Chinese Food on Christmas
• Gary Javitch – Awareness Test
• Don – 2 Docs
• Mark Colman – Love the Scots
• Steven Imberman – Talkin’ to the Wall
• Chas Young – When You’re Getting a Hard Time
• Mark Friedman – The Atheist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Dr’s Bernie & Michael – I Got You Babe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Live from San Diego .. Dr’s Michael Salsburg and Bernie Domanski are publically humiliated to the max with a spoof of the Sonny & Cher classic.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4UQa6Iih-E

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Bob Dvorak via Stan Kegel – Talking Towel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Entering a remote inn on a cold and rainy night, I was stopped by a small man who told me he was sick, tired, and broke, and would I provide him with enough for a warm indoors room for the night?

Feeling sorry for him and having not yet exhausted my monthly tithe for charitable works, I bought him a room at the inn.

As we headed upstairs, he told me he was really a leprechaun, but a bad one, and that he had already used up the gold. What he had left was a magic talking cloth which would give good advice when asked.

He gave it to me and told me to use it wisely.

We parted ways. I got up to my room and it had two beds. I asked the cloth in which bed should I sleep -- it told me to take the one away from the window.

In the middle of the night, the wind rose and a tree limb crashed through the window onto the other bed. What a miraculous instrument the fellow had given me!

The next morning I resumed my journey. And when I came to a fork in the road, I asked my newfound companion which way I should go.

"I can't tell you now," came the reply. "I'm a night towel."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from cousin Michele via the Imberbabe – Chinese Food on Christmas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1uZ_W7atDE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Joel Goldstein – Born To Be …
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://blip.tv/file/529693/

Click To Play

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Gary Javitch – Awareness Test
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A test to see if your brain still works.

Which one is the blonde?




Answer is shown below :


The blonde is the only one with her right leg up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Don – 2 Docs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Psychiatrist and Proctologist...

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors." The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics." No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes." Unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance. "Nuts and Butts?" No way. "Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go. "Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

Everyone loved it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Mark Colman – Love the Scots
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet . . .
"Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Steven Imberman – Talkin’ to the Wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Fishbone," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! For what do you pray?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a freakin' wall."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Chas Young – When You’re Getting a Hard Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard time -

A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

"RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that
he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,

"RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES!"
and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads,

"Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES RUBBED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Mark Friedman – The Atheist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An atheist was walking through the woods
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look.
He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny My existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen


+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hope everybody has a great weekend!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended.

Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES. That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.