Friday, September 28, 2007

28 Sep 2007

28 September 2007

Hi Everyone!

It’s been a LONG week for me … how ‘bout you? I’m looking forward to no alarm clock for a couple of mornings! Just maybe some of these fUNNIES will get you poppin’ for the weekend … they woke me up as I was putting the issue together!

Enjoy the beginning of Fall! And stay good!

:-)> Dr Bernie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Just Annette – SO True!
• Tom Sokolowski – The Card Game
• Syman – Thought & Joke of the Day
• Maureen Zack – Bubba
• Jackster – The Obedient Wife
• Chas Young – Rolf Harris Drawings
• Chuck Hopf – The Redneck’s Havin’ Triplets
• Neil Stenlake – Golf Cheat
• Judy Hirsch – The Great Flydini on Carson
• Shelly – the Jewish Parrot (Only On Yom Kippur!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Just Annette – SO True!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mom (Anita Renfroe) has condensed everything a mom might say to her kids in 24 hours into less than 3 minutes - to the tune of the William Tell Overture. Turn it up … and be prepared to listen to some really fast, really smart lyrics!

A Moms Tale by Anita Renfroe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – The Card Game
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finklestein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." So Goldberg goes to the Meyerwitz unit and knocks on the door.

Mrs Meyerwitz yells from behind the door, "What do you want?"
Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home. He needs more money." "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife." "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Syman – Thought & Joke of the Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 quickies –

Thought For The Day:

"I for one, support a tax hike. One more tax, and we all take a hike."

~~~~~~*****~~~~~

JOKE OF THE DAY:

Bad Potato:

A diner in a restaurant called the waitress to his table. Pointying to a sad looking bad baked potato on his plate and said, "That potato is bad."

The waitress picked up the potato and slapped it roughly a couple of times. Then she put it back on the diner's plate.

"Now, "she told the customer, "If that potato gives you any more trouble, you just let me know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Maureen Zack - Bubba
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is old, but it still makes me laugh!

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.

Gomer looked at the body and said,"Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician. “Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, ‘There's Bubba with them two assholes!’ “

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Jackster – The Obedient Wife
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

"Wait just a moment!"

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

"Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Chas Young – Rolf Harris Drawings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you do not appreciate having received this, I apologise (Chas & Bernie)

Sound is totally unnecessary, but it’s there.

I have a track record in pushing the envelope at times, so … be warned!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Chuck Hopf – The Redneck’s Havin’ Triplets
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the woods, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down ... I think there's yet another one to come."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern ... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,

"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake – Golf Cheat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave had a week off and decided to play golf every day. Monday morning, he found himself paired with an attractive woman, Pat, who turned out to be a very good golfer. They started with a few casual bets, but by the back nine it was a full-blown competition. On the 18th green, Pat sank her long birdie putt for the win. Dave congratulated her and paid off his losses.

Pat asked for a ride home and, on the way, told him, "You know, Dave, I haven't enjoyed myself so much on the golf course in a long time. In fact, pull over so I can express my appreciation. "He did, they kissed, and one thing led to another and soon she gave him the best oral sex he'd ever had.
The next morning, they met again on the first tee and played together again. They had another magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing tight, competitive golf. Again Pat beat him, but she also showed her appreciation on the drive home. This went on all week, with Dave narrowly losing every day, his male ego bruised, but not unhappy.

On Friday's drive home, Dave said, "Pat, you've been great to be with all this week and tonight I'd like to return the favour. I made reservations at the best restaurant in town for us and reserved the penthouse suite at the best hotel. What do you say? "Pat burst into tears. "I can't!"

"What? Why not?" asked Dave. "Because," she sobbed, "I'm in the middle of a sex change and the doctor hasn't completed that part of me yet!"

"What?!" aghast, Dave swerved off the road, screeched to a stop and cursed madly, overcome with emotion. "I'm so sorry," says Pat. "You have a right to be angry with me."

"You bastard!" Dave screamed, his face bright red. "You cheating bastard! All week long you've been playing off the women's tees!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Judy Hirsch – The Great Flydini on Carson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steve Martin's magic act, the Great Flydini, as shown on the old Tonight show with Johnny Carson.

The Great Flydini by Steve Martin on Carsons Tonight Show

PS Also to all of you that think it's easy to figure out...it's not supposed to be a mind-numbing conundrum, the main purpose is that it's funny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Shelly – the Jewish Parrot (Only On Yom Kippur!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Yom Kippur passed just last weekend as the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, this one really hits the mark for me. Apologies in advance if your Yiddish skills are not quite where they should be for this one! Just in case: daven means pray; tfillin - used in morning prayers, and "vus machts due" means how you doin'. ENJOY - Dr Bernie

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street one day wishing something wonderful would happen in his life, when he passed a pet store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish, "Quawwwwk...vus machts du?"

Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. Couldn't believe it. Perfect Yiddish.
The proprietor urged him, "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..."
Meyer did. An African Grey cocked his little head and said: "Vus? Kenst sprechen Yiddish?" (Can you speak Yiddish?)

In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All night he talked with the parrot. In Yiddish. He told the parrot about his father's adventures coming to America. About how beautiful his late wife, Sarah, was when she was a young bride. About his family. About his years of working in the garment district. About Florida.
The parrot listened and commented.

They shared some walnuts.

The parrot told him of living in the pet store, how lonely he would get on the weekends. They both went to sleep.

Next morning, Meyer began to put on his Tfillin, all the while saying his prayers. The parrot demanded to know what he was doing and when Meyer explained, the parrot wanted to do the same. Meyer went out and had a miniature set of tfillin hand made for the parrot.

The parrot wanted to learn to daven and learned every prayer. He even wanted to learn to read Hebrew.

So Meyer spent weeks and months, sitting and teaching the parrot, teaching him Torah. In time, Meyer came to love and count on the parrot as a friend and fellow Jew.

One morning, on Rosh Hashanah, Meyer rose and got dressed and was about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him. Meyer explained that Shul was not a place for a bird, but the parrot made a terrific argument, so Meyer relented and carried the bird to Shul on his shoulder.

Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle, and Meyer was questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi and the Cantor. They refused to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days, but Meyer persuaded them to let him in this one time, swearing that the parrot could daven. Wagers were made with Meyer.

Thousands of dollars were bet that the parrot could NOT daven, could not speak Yiddish or Hebrew, etc.

All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched on Meyer's shoulder as one prayer and song passed - Meyer heard not a peep from the bird. He began to become annoyed, slapping at his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Daven!"

Nothing.

"Daven...parrot, you can daven, so daven...come on, everyone is looking at you!"

Nothing.

After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded, Meyer found that he owed his Shul buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars..

He marched home, so upset he said nothing to the parrot.

Finally several blocks from the Temple the Parrot began to sing an old Yiddish song, as happy as a lark.

Meyer stopped and looked at him.

"Why? After I had tfillin made for you and taught you the morning prayers, and taught you to read Hebrew and the Torah. And after you begged me to bring you to Shul on Rosh Hashana, why? WHY?!? Why did you do this to me?"

"Meyer, don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds we'll get on Yom Kippur!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hope everybody has a great weekend!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES. That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 21, 2007

21 Sep 2007

21 September 2007

Hi Everyone!

Very funny this week! Thanks to everyone who submitted stuff! Have a great weekend!

:-)> Dr Bernie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Tom Sokolowski – Circle Flies
• Judy Hirsch – Rooster Power
• Mark Colman – George
• Tom Sokolowski – Computer Comics
• Dennis Busuttil-Reynaud - ATTENTION!!!!
• SYMAN – Life
• EMDAlan – Careful Who You Tell These Stories Too
• Cousin Toby – Another Primal Greeting
• Neil Stenlake – 2 Ladies Talking in Heaven
• Barbara Rosenberg – How Quickly the Years Pass

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – Circle Flies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cowboy from Texas hauling his horse in a trailer to a rodeo gets pulled over by an Oklahoma DPS Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were persistently buzzing around his head.

The cowboy sez, "Y'all havin' a problem with them circle flies?

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they're called. But I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. But, a moment later he stops and asks, "Are you callin' me a horse's ass?"

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for law enforcement to call y'all a horse's ass." "That's a good thing," the trooper says and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies though".


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Judy Hirsch – Rooster Power
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John the farmer was in the fertilized-egg business. He had several hundred young layers (pullets) and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out anefficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on one particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result . . The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Mark Colman - George
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before his 2001 inauguration, George Bush was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.

When he entered Clinton's personal bathroom, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal.

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.

"Just think," he said, "When I am president, I could have a gold urinal too. But I wouldn't do something that self-indulgent!"

Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill....

"I found out who Pissed in your Saxophone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – Computer Comics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Dennis Busuttil-Reynaud - ATTENTION!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

YOU WILL BE SAFE, I'M JUST EMAILING TO SAY GOODBYE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from SYMAN - Life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

Most of us go to our grave with music still inside us.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one persdon in the world, but you also may be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We can learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from EMDAlan – Careful Who You Tell These Stories Too
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#1
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"
#2
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

#3
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said, "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

#4

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband, "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."

#5

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from cousin Toby – Another Primal Greeting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/Default.aspx?id=23205366&cbRecursionCnt=5&cbsid=08042ca8e05f4d439ba2d7b9481ebb8e-242618380-X4-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake – 2 Ladies Talking in Heaven
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two ladies talking in heaven:
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit
shaking from the cold, I began to get warm &
sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you? 2nd woman: I died of a
massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early
to catch him in the act. But instead, I
found him all by himself in the den watching
TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another
woman there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this
up until I had looked everywhere, and
finally I became so exhausted that I just
keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the
freezer---we'd both still be alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Barbara Rosenberg – How Quickly the Years Pass
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hope everybody has a great weekend!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to
other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and
enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to
any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended.

Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually
desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the
distribution list? Surf over to
http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email
address in the `subscribe' box. I promise you'll never get anything
other than fUNNIES. That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the
weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at
http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 14, 2007

14 Sept 2007

14 September 2007

Hi Everyone!

Happy New Year! Best wishes for good health and good fun for the coming year! Today’s issue clearer is a bit more perverted than usual … blame the contributors! I’m only the messenger! And, Kim, I just don’t know what to say!

Enjoy the end of summer … and have a great weekend!

:-)> Dr Bernie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Al Ramos – A Plumber With a Sense of Humor
• Chas young – Tell Me This Wont Happen to Us
• Tom Sokolowski – How To Save the Airlines
• Kim Auger – How Men Interpret Things
• Neil Stenlake – Success
• Rusty Rusthoven – Rednecks
• EMDAlan – Why Women Hate to Take Men on Vacation
• Bubba, The Arkansas Mortician
• Dick Sziede – Billy Graham
• Irving – Detective Work
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Al Ramos – A Plumber With a Sense of Humor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Chas young – Tell Me This Wont Happen to Us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.

The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.'

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Tom Sokolowski – How To Save the Airlines
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell --- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right --- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Kim Auger – How Men Interpret Things
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her
room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.' The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What Happened!?' they cried. The husband said, 'I'm not sure....maybe she choked?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake - Success
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Rusty Rusthoven - Rednecks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Rednecks were working on a cell phone tower = Cooter, Jim Bob, and Bubba.

As they start their descent down the tower, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Jim Bob says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife."

Bubba says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Jim Bob says, "Where did you get that beer, Bubba?"

"Cooter's wife gave it to me," Bubba replies.

"That's unbelievable; you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

"Well, not exactly", Bubba says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Cooter's widow'."

She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow." then I said "I'll bet you a case of beer you are."

Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from EMDAlan – Why Women Hate to Take Men on Vacation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Barbara Rosenberg – Bubba, The Arkansas Mortician
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man who just died is delivered to an Arkansas mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Bubba the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives Bubba a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Bubba, "Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, Bubba presents her with the blank check. "Dere's no charge," he says.

"No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," Bubba says, "it didn't cost me a ting. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."

"So, I just switched the heads."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Dick Sziede – Billy Graham
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagementand when his plane arrived there was a limousine thereto transport him to his home. As he prepared to getinto the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver."You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have neverdriven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?" The driver said, "No problem Have at it."

Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway.A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.The young trooper walked up to the driver's doorand when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.

He told the supervisor,"I know we are supposed to enforce the law... But I also know that important people are given certain courtesies.I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?"The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."

The supervisor said,"Oh, so it's the president."
The young trooper said,"No, he's even moreimportant than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"The young trooper said,

"I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Irving – Detective Work
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hope everybody has a great weekend!

tHE fRIDAY fUNNIES is a free, weekly distribution by a lunatic to other lunatics who submit lunacy for the other lunatics to read and enjoy to get the weekend started. No personal offense is intended to any group of humans or aliens, so please, don't be offended. Contributions (jokes, NOT money!) are actively encouraged - actually desperately needed - and should be sent directly to ME, Dr Bernie, at
fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES. That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 7, 2007

7 September 2007

7 September 2007

Hi Everyone!
I’ve been off the planet for a bit … my apologies. Hopefully, smiles and laugh will return to your happy faces this week! Whoohoo! :-)> Dr Bernie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contributions This Week From - ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Syman – Finding the Perfect Man
• Gerry Rusthoven – Medical Fact
• Cousin Toby – A Lawyer & a Woman
• Neil Stenlake – Nerd Humor
• Elyse - You Know You're From New York City When ...
• Chas Young – Chicken Joke
• another from Chas – Choosing a Wife
• Pete and France – Body Meeting
• Clark Kidd – A Modern Fable
• another from Clark – Out of the Office Responses ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Syman – Finding the Perfect Man ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night."

An old granny overheard and spoke up. "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Gerry Rusthoven – Medical Fact ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's something for all you medical know-it-alls... Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It is called the 'anal optic nerve'. It's responsible for giving people a 'shitty outlook' on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass, and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye. Just thought you would want to know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Cousin Toby – A Lawyer & a Woman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lawyer and a woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The woman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the woman's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The woman doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the woman's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer has a perplexed look on his face as the woman leans away and falls asleep. The Lawyer starts using his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the woman and hands her $500. The woman takes the $500 and goes back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The woman reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Neil Stenlake – Nerd Humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Elyse - You Know You're From New York City When ... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. You're 39 years old and don't have a driver's license.
2. You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.
3. You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.
4. You know what a “regular" coffee is.
5. It's not ' manhattan'; it's the "city."
6. There is no north and south. It's "uptown" or "downtown." if you're really from new york you have absolutely no concept of where north and south are.... (& east or west is "crosstown"!)
7. You cross the street anywhere but on the corners and you yell at cars for not respecting your right to do it.
8. You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.
10. You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza and a "real" bagel.
11. A 500 square foot apartment is large.
12. You know the differences between all the different ray's pizzas.
13. You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually stand a p.a. announcement on the subway.
14. You wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city.
15. You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major food groups which are: chinese, italian, mexican or indian.
16. You're not the least bit interested in going to times square on new year's eve. 17. Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the street parking regulations are in effect.
18. You know what a bodega is.
19. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.
20. You don’t even notice the lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
21. You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.
22. You cringe at hearing people pronounce houston st. Like the city in texas .
23. The presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.
24. You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.
25. The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it's a beer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Chas Young – Chicken Joke ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(another from Chas – Choosing a Wife ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup, buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then . . . . . . . . . He married the one with the biggest boobs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Pete and France – Body Meeting ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen". "I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Clark Kidd – A Modern Fable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, the seven dwarfs left to go work at the factory. Snow White stayed home to prepare lunch. When she arrived at the factory with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible explosion. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that some of the dwarfs had survived. "Hello, hello," she called. "Can anyone hear me? Hello." For quite a while there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White called again, "Hello, can anyone hear me?" Just as she was about to give up all hope, there came a faint voice from deep under the rubble. The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary." Snow White, somewhat relieved screamed out, "Oh, thank goodness, Dopey is still alive." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(another from Clark – Out of the Office Responses ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are a selection of "out of the office" email responses that can be used when you're away ---

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our Upper management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many people did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your computer for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of Loren.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And from Dr Bernie: What My Son Did On His Vacation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hope everybody has a great weekend!

Have you gotten this fUNNIES from a friend? Wanna be on the distribution list? Surf over to http://fridayfunniesbydrbernie.blogspot.com and just enter your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box. I promise you’ll never get anything other than fUNNIES. That's all there is to it!

Need to UNsubscribe? Instructions are always at the bottom of the weekly email!

Finally, the archives of the fRIDAY fUNNIES can usually be found at http://fridayfunnies.webhop.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Bernie Domanski
Email: fRIDAYfUNNIESbyDrBernie-owner@yahoogroups.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©fRIDAY fUNNIES, 1996-2007. All Rights Reserved.